Wednesday, February 10, 2010

For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool



Oh, for the love of god. It appears that I am a public crier.






Nope. Not a town crier, a public one. A crazy lady who cries in public.

Apparently, I can’t really do subtle, or hiding my feelings, or playing it cool. I felt a bit silly about that last night (crying in a restaurant to a boy will do that to you), but today I feel okay. I know my faults, but I don’t think that really giving things you love and are passionate about your all is a bad thing. Even if you do just end up making an idiot of yourself in public.

I get through a lot of mascara this way.



If you put as much of yourself into something as you can and it still doesn’t work, then you can’t feel too bad about it.

That’s how I feel about everything I want. I always put myself completely into relationships, my yoga, my writing and my hopes for traveling more. I am totally absorbed by these things, and so even if I turn out to be hopeless, then I know that I tried my best.

I don’t care if I’m 26; I am emotional and I am going to quote some lyrics. ‘At least I try to jump in fire, and if I burn at least I tried’. That’s as emo as I’m going to get on you today.

So, I am going to make this weekend a lovely weekend of self-improvement and motivation. I have a massive list of things to do as I prepare to leave the country. They involve:

Selling my bed
Arranging for my stuff to be shipped to the UK
Selling a whole heap more stuff – books, clothes etc
Trying to figure out how I can afford a flight home, a TEFL course and shipping of my belongings as well as my rent.

Oh god. I’m stressed again now! Hopefully I have a little room on my credit cards for things like these. I’m not thinking about what happens if I don’t. Two years in Dubai and not a penny saved. Whoops.

Okay, that’s it with mushy posts for a while. I am putting it in a box. Let’s get back to dharma and dinner from now on.

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